Is what I like to call it but really the general concept of is the ability to know when and what with whom should you let know something about in your life. Did that sentence made sense? As a teen, I slowly learn that the relationship between your parents and you can shift since you'll feel that that there are things you simply can't tell them. There are people who are very depended on their parents about things they go through in life. Whether its about education, relationships or anything at all, we sometimes try to seek advice/guidance from our families about them. However as a girl, I feel that I like to depend on Mom on issues that I have mixed feelings about, whether its about me or others and she gives me her opinions after hearing mine. Sometimes a small debate would rise and would rarely turn to a real fight or any arguments but I always learn something out of our discussions.
Still, I do not tell her that I may have drank alcohol because I was curious without her permission or that a guy have tried to flirt with me when she leaves me for a moment at malls. I don't tell her I want to make a couple of short stories of dead people or do some serious DIY on so many things at the same time. I just don't until such events were old ones (I've give it a week) or if the situation was just too personal and big and then I'll wait for a couple of years to tell her so she won't have to feel freak out or lecture or worry over me about it. Literally. Thats what I do.
Why? Let me give you an example. Say you want to be an artist and you daydream about it and reveal it to your parents. Since you're a teen and is halfway there to adulthood, they think a bit more (actually it varies with different parents) seriously about your future and they would tell you that is has a low success rate, that people don't really earn money that way, that you're better off being a doctor, or lawyer or an engineer blah-de-blah-blah. And you realize that sometimes your parent may not want to listen/know this artsy, impractical and wild self/dreams of yours. You'll know that they won't register the joy in the way you describe about that canvas you finish today or hear your admiration on New York's fashion week, they want to protect you and lead you to the good old right path to good academics and higher chance of guaranteed good life, so you can't blame them.
Another examples is that even when you tell them something like "Oh I went to the mall and karaoke with my friends" and your parents/guardian goes "Be careful of the people you encounter there. Make sure you text me back about how you are every 10 minutes, you need to be careful. And don't break the microphones, it may be expensive and who'll have to pay it? BE CAREFUL." or something along the lines of that, yeah. At this point, its common to feel you can't really share somethings with your family because of their sense of responsibility of you. So you sometimes confide in friends (because they would obviously understand and relate to you more) and tell your own family less and less to keep from dwelling into your day-to-day anxieties. Your parents also know they can't protect you from every single bad thing thats out there in the world and neither would you want them too for long either. You'll develop the desire to travel, learn and discover and they can't stop you once you decide on that.
So although parent try to be interested and make efforts like by asking "How's your day?" and there are still very fortunate times we can still confide in them about everything, we can't all the time. We have to learn when to lock the door and when to unlock it to let them in on the things we've been keeping at the right time. Because parent, we forget, are human too. With their own feelings and hopes and doubts about life. And they can't always be equipped with the right words and knowledge and opinions and mindset when you throw your life crisis/thoughts at em'. You sometimes need some alone time to think, like have an adjustment period, and solve the situation independently or save that talk about this future career project/idea for a more appropriate time. Parents also may secretly haven't fully grasp the idea that we're changing and change is hard and a long process. You can't push it or rush it. So they change too and they need time as well. Figuring out new ways to communicate with you, what they should say to you and how to treat you now as we all are maturing.
So you don't have to keep it all bottle up forever. You just need to know when to lock it and unlock it at better times. Maybe when you're in Uni or something and you reveal all the naughty pranks you pulled with your friends eh? Its worth the hold up when the opportune time comes. They might even laugh with you, like the time I told my mom that a friend and me saw this senior couple years back, who sat down and we saw more than we should and that we were scarred for life with an image of a red cotton speedo with a hole at the back that revealed his butt crack, and we could tell that hole was designed on it intentionally. See how clearly I remembered? That shows how scarred I am but then we made horridly cruel but utterly knee-slapper jokes about it being worn the wrong way or maybe it was worn the right way and was just a tool to train him how to urinate at one target. We laughed like maniacs then and still do only with now my Mom knowing it. Haha.
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