Things turn the other way around..

When you grow up anyway. When I was little I always expected Dad's arrival and when he's not here felt lonely and sad but my Mum always looked grim whenever I go "Mummy Mummy!! Dad is coming this Saturday again!". I as an observant child always wondered why?

As I grow I realized my Dad was such a workaholic where even when I was still a baby and mum was dead sick. He would be so busy or too tired from work to help. Was what my Mum told me. At first I didn't believe it but that does not mean I'm not willing to consider it. I observed and tested towards him. He turn from that Dad who I miss so much to the Dad I want to protest against almost as much as I wanted when I feel like angry towards Mum. Who really means well. He does love me but the way he does it doesn't show that sometimes. They are times when I wanted to screamed at him. Sometimes I think they will be a day where he will slap me on the face for something that I would decide.

He doesn't treat me like a girl. He does gives me responsibilities to do. I will do it but the way he says it make me feel like not doing it. Ever heard the word politeness?? I pissed him off too but I guess it partly my fault as well. So I'm gonna do as he says for now but if he still acts a hypocrite, a monster to me in my life, I will not leave things as it is. I will protest!

Vacation!

And what more can better things come when you're going with your besties!!! The sun view! The sandy beach! Its heaven but at last cruel fate came to bully on me again. It seems another different fairytale open up to me with the same "secret" prince it again. I call him secret because it didn't cross my mind it would be him even though he was always there. I kinda do have feeling for him but right now they're only a kinda and he wants my response. So I made a deal . During my trip he can't sms or call me. So I can think about my response. (and because its fun to tease him when he can't stop himself easily when wanting to sms or call me). Yes I'm evil.

So I'll be going around 4-7 sept!! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like writing some stuff now. Pls comment and tell watcha think!

I stand here looking

at the light blue sky

I'm thinking of you again

Your smile, your eyes and the whispers of love

you always said in my ear

Couldn't we meet again like before?

Under the shining glow of the moon

in the middle of this island where I always longed for you

The gods above are so unfair

trampling both you and I

to the point where we can't see each other

How I wish I roll the dice again

just to get the chance to be in your arms

just to hear those three words from you

Is this truly a love that cannot be true?

Well watcha think? I kinda like it. Felt kinda lovey-dovey!! So pls comment!!

Put a little hope

Today a crazy idea came over me. Telling my mum I got confessed by a few guys last year and this year too. I don't know why but theres a sudden confidence she wouldn't be mad. I mean I've been single so far..Well most of the time anyway. She took it quite well. Far more than I have expected.

You see I don't really like to keep secrets from my Mum. I love her very much and I see this friend of mine being so open to her Mum and her Mum is always saying just the right things without really showing much anger. So shes someone you could easily talk to. Shes a very nice lady and nowadays so is my AWESOME MOTHER!! hahaha!

So tell it to that person with a little hope and courage if he/she deserves to know or when you want to get it off your chest. They maybe angry for awhile about it but they calm down knowing at least you told them. Though they are a limit in how many you can reveal. So just be careful kay? Thats it for now. Bye stalker! Come back and stalk on this blog again!!

New beginnings

I just went through, well just like every teens, a problematic situation and at the end of all the monstrosity, I learn something out of it. No matter how heavy the situation you've been trough, keep a straight face and move on. Though it may be hard. Its part of growing up. Everyones like a butterfly. You may get damage while flying but one way or the other, you slowly let it go and you're reborn again. With a new and more beautiful wings.

Thats why if you notice, I change my profile pic. I'm a new born butterfly! Truthfully its not a monstrosity. Its a beautiful mess of life. Despite the heartbreaks, the joys, the tears, the laughter,the dramas, the loves and hates. All of it. In the end it will all be ok. Thats pretty much the irony that repeats itself in life. To well keep reminding us if we make the same mistake AGAIN.

Yes yes karma and life is both a bitch ain't it? Still don't don't me we can't keep move on. I just finished my moral homework (which shocks me I'm doing it at my own home) . Ok sleeping early tonight. I need to wake up early. Hope this teaches you something at LEAST. Bye and sweet dreams y'all!

I had the worst day :(

Sigh! I got my results from my mid-year exam. Science and Geography is a total pass! BUT my BM or the national language of the country I'm in, is a fail!! I couldn't even reach the passing mark. Mum is gonna get so mad I'l bet 10 bucks she'll completely break the door instead of last time she made a huge HOLE in it. It's like the size of a fucking fist!! So goodbye world! If you're a friend of mine reading this I want you to know you're invited to my funeral. Cause of death:Strangled by own mother due to failure of examination.

Why can't the world settle for one language!! HA~ At least God have heard my prayers when I prayed for my Science and some other subjects to pass. Today I was checking my iPhone (my dad say I can use it for another month! awesome much!!) and look up this tarot reading card online. It say something bad and unavoidable will come my way and I now realize its the wrath of my incredibly scary mother that is unavoidable. Even the thought of it make me shiver...

Mum is cooking fried fish at the moment.. I not telling her till report cards day.. Its better than telling her early cause by then I will be extra busy with projects and she might bother me less. Hopefully. Anyway, my close friends didn't come cause ones on holiday two are sick. Urgh. So I hang out with my classmate who is a prefect in school, her names sara. So she was making sure nobody go up stairs during recess and most of the Form 1 girl and me were there. Then theres this senior/bitch 1# and her best/bitch 2# friend with her who wanted to go up. Heres a dialog of the scene the next time i post ok need to makan!!

UPDATE!

Just an update! My dad lent me his iPhone for a week when i go on my holiday trip!! AWESOME!! I won this ticket to a one nite stay at a cool hotel with friends but there were problems so we can't go until next month.. FUCK U damn holiday for bringing so many people to the hotel! I'm eating powder milo cause I hv nothing else to eat as a snack. The last post before this, you know the guy? Well I think he starting not to like me becuz we had this weird conversation that was so awkward i ask whether he got a hangover and drunk last week due to this very traditional event most people in my country celebrate and even said I'm used to drunk people (I was just being honest! Geez...) and he also saw me played like a little girl, even though im not really little just petite size like a primary 6 at this playground near school when our exams over with my friends. He probably think he wouldn't wanna hang with me. YES!!! HOORAH!!

Operation: Show him you're not who he imagined and get him to dump you is activated and so far proceeding well. I didn't tell my best friends this though. I'll probably tell her next time i see them. I'm going Penang this wednesday. Give u the details on that later. I was so freakin high and hyper like a drugged person but not becuz in was literally drugged, i just ate chocolate fudge ice cream..gtg now..

things that been goin through my mind....

...like for example, if u ever been to Citymall, you might not think theres not pilaks or pils for short but theres is!!!! And me and my cousin got flirted by two in one day. One from giant and one from Veda Blu. I'm also going shopping again there with some friends but I'll probably won't even notice the pils.Also my mum just told me that she accidentally commented

"you gays go to chucrch tomorolah!"

the gays was suppose to be guys. Anyways, have anyone watch the annoying orange on you tube?Its hilarious!!! I suggest u watched it!