It's that 2 week holidays and loads have happened. I been through my mid-term exam which usually isn't impressive of results and though I had resolute to not let it be the same this year, I am afraid I had let it be so again. I'm far too scared to ask my teachers how I did. I joined Unduk Ngadau at school but trust me when I say it wasn't of my own choice. I did however did rebel a little from the typical pageant grace because no.1 I will never be that girl and no.2 I have this treacherous insecurity that me in these sort of events will make me feel the public will laugh AT me thus I choose the alternative, to laugh WITH me instead as it mends my confidence. I watched the latest X-men film annnnddd J-Law obvi killed it and the storyline was GREAT. Just when you thought MARVEL couldn't possible surprise you and take it to another level, they DO. Plus they follow the comic so A++ for the loyalty to originality. I'm really into two new TV shows called Orphan Black and The Resurrection from Life is Good channel. One is huge BBC American science based creative thriller that is a must watchh, especially if you like one about clones which is deliciously written here (the main actress for all the clones is a genius and a force to be reckon with and they are all americans yet they do so good at convincing me at least that their characters are legit Brits) and if you love those "really think about your humanity" stuff and total tear jerker, The Resurrection will make you wonder and cry throughout. I even read the book of the show and its different but conceptually similar. I think the TV version is better though.
I've also been craving weepie and thought-provoking materials since The Resurrection and to amplify that crave, Grey's Anatomy S10 is on StarWorld and I'm going to die from dehydration due to crying all the damn time. Its not that I'm feeling sensitive or my hormones have spiked but I just been wanting that feeling where after you finish a good cry, you feel washed over and clean again. Like you let it out and the emptiness offers you sense of freedom and a kind of lightness. I've been jogging. Today I started again because exam totally made me too sleep deprived to get me moving for an early exercise but I began today with a blank mind and a heart full of emotions. I can't go into details what I've been through but lets just say I ran, not jog, this morning with pure anger, stress and anxieties as motivation. I finish 3 round under 30 minutes at Perdana Park. Sure I took rest and walk but I would start again after a little awhile in almost full sprint. I sweated all over, my limbs and legs wanting to give out and tempting me to let them be all jelly. I rested and sat too soon when I finished so I sore all over and got a headache but my heart was better. I felt like I released the bad vibes. I'm going again tomorrow morn.
I've been wearing black and no I'm not turning anything remotely into a Baby Punk despite a couple songs in my playlist. Mostly because I feel fat and we all know black is just the most slimmest of colours and plus I don't work with a lot of dark so I'm taking all my leathers, denims, plaids and the swept to the side look. I have to say I'm real proud of my outfit creations. Right now I'm wearing a black silk tank with a high-waisted red plaid skirt and when I need to run errands, I take my denim jacket that goes just past my thighs that makes the whole outfit come together and add a masculinity to edge.
I'll also be taking on some spring looks too since I'm starting to exercise and using the yoga mat for at-home workouts. Scrolled through some colleges in the UK and US thanks to the good gracing of a friend and told my brothers excitedly about because I discussed with the agent about Psychology majors and not Law. They are of course my permanent Devil's Advocate in life and cause more stress during the past few weeks. You think the horrid acne on my face is just exam but they contribute too. I'm also extremely frustrated with people who are friends of my families and when they ask what I want to do and I tell them Psychology to those who are close enough and "I'm not so sure" to those who aren't. And most of the time their replies are very factual and realistic which I don't mind but they never offer a hint that it is my choice or that my choice and/or unsureness were reassured to be smooth and I've feel so restraint without cause or good reason. They push their opinions on me, thinking it aligns to what I like and when I don't object (out of kindness to spare them from awkwardness had I told them they were wrong), they concluded they have me figured out. People like my Mom and good friends don't do this, they know me. We debate and discuss all on correct grounds. We have build an aptitude towards each other that we know what to say, what not to say and when. I feel less of constrictions with them than others, who makes me rather shoot myself than listen to them talk about my future. Literally.
So here are a bit of updates to my creative work aside from styling new outfits, I just made a highlighter liquid. Its main ingredients is the highlight stimulant aka lime and coconut oil to moisturize and condition hair. Have yet to test it out but I will during one of my jogs in the morning where plenty of sun can start the lightening process. Will tell you the conclusive result. Also trying rice-based local facial masks and although it may be improving my pimples, it sure makes my face so smooth-feeling and supple which is something I love. Musicwise I am in love with Sia's "Chandelier" and the dancing girl in the video, really struck a cord in my heart, both of them. I've also been into "Carried Away" by Passion Pit, "Car Radio" by Twenty One Pilots (this is more expressive so if you're interested to check it out, look up the lyrics as you listen to it and you'll get it) and Two Fingers by Jake Bugg though it doesn't mean I like smoking, I just think this one is so damn catchy. I also like the recent known one like One Republic's "Love Runs Out".
