my mum abandon me....LOL XP!!!

Okay so heres the story. . .I sometime (when i feel like it) go see the statue of Mother Mary and sort off pray there ofter church but only for like 1 or 2 minutes. I told my Mum i go there but when i was done and went to where she parked the car, it was GONE!! I sort of said "WTH?!?!" halfway until I realize I'm still near the church. Then I look around to see if I could find Mum still around but I guess she drove off thinking I'm in the car and that she didn't listen to me when I told her I would be somewhere else. While almost panicking, I notice this Sister and thought maybe I could borrow her phone since mine just died on me.

So I went up to her told her the whole dilemma and she let me borrow her phone. Mum was freak out and panicking like hell when she got my call and realize I'm not at the back seat. She drove like hell and by the time she sees me, she breath out a sigh of relief. I thanked the sister before she drove off and went home with my Mum. At first she felt really bad but I turn the whole story into a joke that she end laughing at the thought of it. So yeah. . . LOL.

My view on things...

These days at school hv been going just fine but the other stuff in my life just gets worse for me. I'm like so....sad...and to you guys I guess im emo too... Truth hurts right? Well Few weeks ago I found out the truth. So the truth can change your life completely. Now I look as my life sorta of ...waste..yet it won't be wasted..

"Facts are the enemies of Truth."

Ever heard of that? I kinda agree but I mostly Disagree cause' how can you find out the truth without facts? I use to think life was SO precious but after knowing the truth...I don't know now but if you ask can i fix it?

"Never limit your challenges but challenge your limits."

We all have a limit and well I'm only limited to a point where I can't fix this particular...I guess you could say "curse". My heart is sinking.My shoulder feel so heavy as if thousand of weight was put on it. I cried at night and as much as I want to scream and cry in some heavy rain where no one will notice. I can't. I . Just . Can't . Saying those words makes me feel useless as shit. Only being the "bad one" at the center of it all. So if anyone is reading this and doesn't know me at all. Just "LIVE" life. Don't just live it. You know what I mean. Enjoy what you got. but does that knows me, I'm truly sorry. Just. Truly. Sorry.

I'm an American Idol!!!..........viewer..LOL

Funny title rite? So is anyone gonna watch? I am! Me!! Can't you me waving my hands here!?! Well of course you can't! Thats absurd!! HAHAHA!! I feel so FREAKIN HYPER!!!WOOHOO!! SUGAR LEVEL HIGH!! BLOOD PRESSURE TOO!!! Woooo00000oooooTzzzzz!!!!!!! OoooO0oooois almost time for the show!!!! OH MA GAWD!!!! LOL!!!!

Mum is being creep out rite now..She's just jealous cause I'm so freakin happy and energectic while she not! ( yes people I'm so energetic to the point of making sarcastic, wrong and childish reasons) WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Ok bye!!! need to put out my energy on something else now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUH-BYE!!!!

Thoughts again...

While today I think I'm starting to feel a weird. Like when I dream, I don't dream thing that I like. Nor is it the kind of nightmares I would get. Lately people I never seen appear in my dreams. And well, last night was the fourth time I see them only this time I tried to talk to them but the minute my mouth open, nothing came out. So we just stood there in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence surprisingly. Anyway they were only a little girl that night. Each night I dream different people.

Anyway this little girl was just adorable!! She look more adorable than my niece!! But there was something wrong too when I look at her. She look such an angel yet she look at me like she was sad or something. I didn't do anything but yet she just stand there looking at me sadly. Then she suddenly turn around as if someone is calling her but there wasn't no voice. After that she turn back to me and wave goodbye (I think?). She walk back and disappear. That when I woke up. Seriously, whats is with me. I feel like I'm getting weirder by the day. Ugh....anyway mustn't be on the computer too long so gotta go!

Thought....i forgot what number.

I was just listening to this song called "Live like we're dying" by Kris Allen. Well its true that u hv to do everything before you go.You gotta tell your mum that you love her and Dad. You gotta forgive those who you treated so badly.But heck I'm almost goin 13. I still have loads of time! This is what I think.

"Youth is priceless so don't waste it that easily."

Its true. When you grow older and when you think u're at the edge of death, only then you should look at the time and go do the stuff you gotta do. For now I'm gonna work hard but have fun with all the youth that I got!! If you're wondering abt this topic's name, i lost count sort of the number of thoughts. I mean we all do have countless of them!! Anyway, need to go now! bye bye!!

A quick thought...

Well like I said in the previous post. My time limit on the computer have been fucking shorten. So I'll try to make this long but quick!! School is going smoothly but I have a feeling drama will come soon and hope that it won't involves me!! Urmm...Oh ya! I have to wake up early tomorrow on a Saturday just for Cross Country. We have to go to Bukit Padang there and do 2 and a half round at the jogging track. I plan on just slowing down and run when I feel like its the right time for me. Hmm.....Thats about it......yeah.....

So I guess thats all I can think about right now. So bye....still there?....I said thats IT!! NO MORE!!! Why are you still reading?? Urk.....whatever. If you're not leaving then I will so buh-bye!

Thinking it back. . .

Well its the end of 2009!!!! And I feel like thinking about some old memories. I now realize why some of the old can't never look at the light at OUR century with all the technologies and stuff. Its because in their days, where everything seems to be just fun and happy enough for them, are the days where sometimes our century could never hold but can only keep changing.So I guess I might be like that when I'm old or maybe not. Who knows?

But sometimes it's like to the old the next generation is nothing but for the young to repair the mistakes they left behind or couldn't repair or for the young to make their own mistakes. Within that process they learn things and well. . .they may learn it through the though way or the easy way. This year I learn things the easy way but for things that I never ever encounter or knew it exist, I had to learn it out the tough way. Now I would like to separate the bad and good memories.

The Bad

I seen the dramas, the fights, but also the harsh truth. For 2009, I wanted to become more tough in those things. I wanted to stand up instead of being punch down and staying down crying. I used to do that only I did fight back but it was a small blow. Next year, I intend to have more self-confidence and stand up. Even my older brother now considered me as a "rebellious teen" which made me happy a little.

The Good

I realize what I posses since I am now "rebellious" , I posses in fighting back at my parents. Sometimes they pin me down. Like holding me back on stuff when I really am confident with what I CAN do. Like I could have told that hair stylist who cut out my horrible hair EXACTLY what to do but no. Mum was the one who told her what to do without even asking me if I agree to it. When I saw hair, I was so mad and when Mum kept embarrassing me infront of that hairstylist (which she thinks she is cheering me up instead of embarrassing me.), I shot up this face with my eyes like I never did before and her smile fade. She kept quite and just ask me what to do next. So every time she brings up about my hair, I gave her that same look and she frowns and kept quite. I knew that I am capable to do that any time. Did I regret it? No. Honestly no. I don't feel guilt at all. I feel sorta happy. Nowadays, she know next time how capable I am a little.

This also happens to my Dad. I still have my cough and when I feel awfully tired and kept coughing, I look at Dad with my eyes. It made him look away and that he feel guilty about it somehow. I never seen Dad do that at me. It was a good experience for me in fact. Now can make them feel that because I can do that same face with that expression. I can now "unpin" myself. I feel kinda powerful now!! Hahahahaha! LoL!! >W<

ok! Thats all about it. Look!! Look how much Good happen to me more then the bad!! Bwahahahaha!! 2009 is definitely considered a GREAT year for me!!!