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You know how high school is like? They have what we teens call "cliques". Here is its definition.

Cliques [Cli-qu-es]

A different categorized groups such as the "nerds" or "jocks" or the "punks".

So I'm sure everyone been through stuff where people insult you, embarrass you, hurt or judge you. Think about your friend that you think is the closest to you and think "Do they really know you?"

Do they know you well enough to the point when you say "I'm ok" and knows you're not. Do they know the stuff you go through? Do they know how you feel at time when you're down? Do you and them know the crap that both of you go through?

or

Have you ever insulted or embarrassed or judge others without really knowing them? If you were to know how badly they feel when negative thing like insulting or being judged affect them like a dagger, would you think that maybe you were the cause?

We all are like books with a 100% personality in it. On the cover of the books, we show only 15% of our personality. Other books would simply look at the cover and think they KNOW you without reading your 85%. In the 85% contains thousands of words such as anger, joy, grace, envy, creativity and many more. Those things are simply the things that are RAW and REAL about you while the 15% has only one word. FAKE.

Aren't you're sick of all that. High School doesn't have to be a place where you have the lock away who you are from other people. If you really believe, you can change. Its hard to pick up the courage to change but the result is so much better than the high school life lock up lifestyle.

A quick update on me life!

Hi y'all. Its December and I would like to say "Happy Early Christmas". I will be going to Singapore next next week so I won't be able to post until probably next month? When my school starts anyway...MAYBE..

So yes an update of what have been happening. My bro, Melvin and his girlfriend, will be coming back home this Monday. I'm kinda curios about his GF cuz there has never been a Christmas where one of my bros brought their GF. So it might be kinda interesting.

Yesterday, I went to Citymall with some fwens for the event Hobbycon! They were a lot of events but I didn't think it was any better than last years to be honest. Still somehow we manage have fun thanks to Citymall being well...a Mall (doiy! like so doiyty-doy!). Though they were a lot of cosplayers. There also a second day hobbycon today but who needs to go again when you've been on the second day! Plus I made a new fwens!!

Every year when its like December, my Mum would do a sort of "Garage Sales" except minus the Sales. Meaning we either get rid or give stuff we don't need or can use. Like giving away your clothes that no longer fits you or throw away some crap you don't need. I'm sure you do it too. Because of this, my house is a total disaster. My dad just took away this sofa which had some unneeded pieces clothes of mine and mums. We didn't clean it up so when he took it away, he simply throw whatever was on the sofa and left it on the floor as my responsibility. So the floor in that room looks like a hobo's hangout and as much as I would like it gone, just staring at the whole mess made me feel like "Can I really clean this up?". Urgh! I hate Year-End cleaning!!!!!!!

Anyway, I am planning to set up a competition here soon right after I come back from Singapore and its worth something cause I might be giving away great christmas prezzies from Singapore! So yeah come check out the blog on the 28th or 29th december where it'll be right around the time I be back from the trip.

Now I'm planning to save my money for the grand prize!! and maybe buy a few consolation prize but anyway, to those friend and families, I'll be handmade-ing your present since I really do wanna save money! So I am soon putting my art skills to the table along with some of my love! (LOL im feeling hyper!!)

Now I just wanna remind you, holidays are fun and all but you gotta remember to give some charity for the unfortunate who couldn't even hv the luxury to have presents that are as good as ours. So donate maybe some spare change? Give out some stuff you do't use and that are still in good conditions. Its like part of the Christmas's spirit as well. So yeah! Instead of just getting thing only, why not give to those who would appreciate it a LOT. I mean just imagine you're them and you don't even celebrate Christmas. I mean I had an expensive barbie doll when I was just what..6! and I thought at that age that EVERY girl had it but no!! They don't! Even an old toy that still can be played is so much for the unfortunate. So maybe do a little "giving" to them too.

So yea how was your holiday so far? I love reading nice comments and so if you feel like to, comment on this post abt your holiday! Sharing IS caring after all!

So bye y'all and have a great Christmas! Have fun and may God bless you~~!!!

Cousin's answer

My cousin asks me what she should do when she started getting pimples and im just going to answer based on my experience. Well you should try to see whether you have really sensitive skin. I wouldn't start with products like Clean and Clear first because for me it was a huge mistake. So try using herbal products first like SKIN FOOD or if you want, go to a dermatologist and ask for any recommendations. I use SKIN FOOD since I have very sensitive skin. For cleansing, I use tea tree bubble foam cleansing which contains tree tea and willow extracts to give your irritated skin a proper treatment. If cleansing isn't enough, I do use another product from SKIN FOOD called Parsley and Manderin (Orange) Spot Gel. It soothes irritated spots or pimples and dry it as gently as possible so its kinda slow on getting rid of it but a good extra to use after you wash your face.

If you wanna lose pimple fast, I have a product I can suggest though I only seen it in magazine which mean I can't say whether its suitable for sensitive skin. Its called the Mario Badescu's Drying lotion. It contains ingredient that can really DRY out a pimple. Its this small little bottle and it has two layers. The top layer is this watery liquid while the bottom layer is this thick pink liquid. It works like this. Take a cotton swab and dip in the bottle till it touches the bottom layer, take it out and simply dab it directly ON the pimple or on the ones you think that are starting to form. No need to spread it around just dab it. Do this before you go to sleep. Next morning some might disappear but for those that take a while might turn red but don't be alarmed. Just do this again the next night before bed and the red ones will disappear the next day. It take like one or two days to get rid of your pimples. Awesome right? Well I am currently looking for it so cousin, f you found it, call me!

Last but not least, drinks LOADS of water and eat healthy! It really works! Try avoiding oily stuff at times. So thats about it. Did you understand cousin? Call me!!

Just to let you know...

the post below the poem stuff is the continuation of the story! hehe! so comment!

letting the anger off through words.

I know there isn't an expatiation before next month but I'm so FUGGING PISSED OFF that I just had to release it before anything bad happens. A close fwen of mind told me this other fwen of mine(not close and its a male) that she did sumtin and said "Budu" (properly spelled as Bodoh. this is just a short word for it. and it means "STUPID) and had a slight sort of "WTH!?!?! I HATE U" feelin for him. He explain he said that to his guyy fwen. I explain she got mad that I told him though its suppose to be a secret (Its partly my fault i know that.) but she they both should still talk abt it fairly and maturely but she had to go off9, ignore my calls, be a bitch for it. She should at least listen first. I noe shes mad and I understand that but c'mon!! Ha~~~~ Well gotta fix it. Shes not answering but I left her 15 voicemails of sorrys!! cuz . .

1. I'm really sorry abt it

2. she get annoyed tos ee so much voicemails to listen and buttons to click

3. the above reason is partly also cuz im pissed. hehe

so yeah...

Temporary break

There won't be stories posted out since my exam is coming up. Urgh. Another fucking migraine!!! Plus I have a writer's block (crap..) and kinda lazy hehehehehe. So after my exam is over. I'll promise I'll continue posting new and more better stories!! So yeah. I'll probably start posting stories during the first week of november. So come back stalking and peeking around that kay? Thnx for your understanding. Seeya around november!!!

This is not the story

I mean its STILL my blog where i say what I wanna say and I intend to keep it that way! I feel like clearing up a theory. Or my point of view.

Reality is like slap you get in your face. At times the slap gets harder and harder. Which answer the question. Who is the biggest bitch of all? Reality. Its both a bitch and at times a friend. Its like being drug with an overdose of cruelty and have very little hope to go to rehab and recover. The cure? It takes will, courage, and a never ending spirit to NOT give up but lets face it. Who really has that and survive to the end. We all have mostly regrets and very little things to be proud of.

Hell it sounds like we're pretty much fucked up aren't we? But that just it. We're suppose to fucked up and get it over with. Avoiding dodging balls of "FUCK!" moments and feelings. Preventing getting stabbed in the heart. Watching out from falling into the very pits of a different "hell". That don't mean reality doesn't have a different "heaven" as well.

If we're lucky, we're struck by a love cupid. We land onto the clouds of smartness. Invited to a wonderland of fun and randomness. The flaw of it is that those chances are hard to find or sometimes keep. Reality just isn't balanced. Reality itself have quite unfair rules. The kind of rules you have in school and wish to break it. Those who go by the rules will survive but will they be happy? Those who goes against the rules either are stupid dumb asses who have no brains how to fight against it and end up punished or those who are careful, smart, observant, determined won't get punish that easily and might actually be able to keep being in the "heaven".

I'm like that. I balance though. I go against stuff way beyond what other teens (who my mum refers to normal GOOD kids) and at the same time I suffer a few consequences too but so far I rather suffer those punishments than the other punishment people go through. I'm thick skinned and hell I hate to be messed with. I did some stuff that I guess considered overboard but I'm not wild or anything at the very least. My sanity is still intact. I don't smoke drug, or even smoke. I don't drink and I never did IT. At the very least, physically I'm still pure. I never been physically hurt but emotionally yes. So I keep my heart's sanctuary at a place so far away that I THINK no boy can reach.

Well now I'm done and feel much better =W=~

I feel at total cosma peace

Continue..

Ok. I got some new one!!

You tell me I'm pretty when I feel ugly. You tell me I'm funny when I get the jokes wrong. You tell me you feel irritated when I'm with another guy. You shower me with tender soft kisses. Cherishing me as you hug me.

I feel like I'm the luckiest girl ever. Having you and your love. We had our ups and downs together but in the end, we still love each other. I remember the day I met you. It wasn't exactly a magical moment, but it wasn't something to regret either.

When you hug me, I feel safe. I'm wrapped around in your protection. The sweet warmth going through me. When you kiss me, I feel loved. The feel of your lips on mine gave out a pleasant tingle that melts my frozen, stoned heart. When you say you love me, I feel happy. An overwhelming joy came over me like a tidal wave and my heart would skip a beat as it races for you to say it again.

I like this one!! Comment pwease!!

Determination

I realize about Mum's life when she got married. She didn't really love her first wedding. She was Kadazan. My Dad was chinese. On her wedding day, a friend of hers once said "Luckily you don't know chinese!". Why? My Dad's side of the family never really like my Mum. Especially my aunts. Dad's parents didn't mind and treat her kind but its had you know? She helped my uncles and aunts in some many things. Yet they gossip her like that. When I was still a primary school, she always said things to me about what they did to her because I love my cousins from their side. She wanted to warn me to no be so vulnerable to them.

She suffered even from her side of the family. Where they were sometimes short of money and whenever she lent them, they never paid back. She standing up for herself and for me so I don't have to be like her. The only people from her side of her family was her bro's wife. She understands mum more than anyone and when I need a real "sister" about these things it would be her daughter as well. Sam. Who I won't have for long cuz next year she'll be out there having her own life.

I can feel my Mum's pain at times and I don't want to end up like my Mum. I want to have my own career. I want to take her to a places away from those people. I don't want to be hurt or to help people like them. I want to live my own life. I want to go to university. I went to write romance books. I want to live a life where daggers won't be stabbed right behind me. I want to be around people I can trust. I want to be determined to be strong, to be a better person and to be succeeding in thins I want to do. I want to do this in the right process. I don't dropping out of school and run away. I want to properly escape before I fall to a hell hole.

I'm crying as I am writing this. Maybe I'm scared? Maybe I might regret this but my Mum who has loved me more than anyone else in the family. Its unbearable and its so frustrating at times. I'm stuttering as I'm reading this back. I have a hard shell but I'm still human. Oh God please guide me I ask this through Jesus name amen!

Things turn the other way around..

When you grow up anyway. When I was little I always expected Dad's arrival and when he's not here felt lonely and sad but my Mum always looked grim whenever I go "Mummy Mummy!! Dad is coming this Saturday again!". I as an observant child always wondered why?

As I grow I realized my Dad was such a workaholic where even when I was still a baby and mum was dead sick. He would be so busy or too tired from work to help. Was what my Mum told me. At first I didn't believe it but that does not mean I'm not willing to consider it. I observed and tested towards him. He turn from that Dad who I miss so much to the Dad I want to protest against almost as much as I wanted when I feel like angry towards Mum. Who really means well. He does love me but the way he does it doesn't show that sometimes. They are times when I wanted to screamed at him. Sometimes I think they will be a day where he will slap me on the face for something that I would decide.

He doesn't treat me like a girl. He does gives me responsibilities to do. I will do it but the way he says it make me feel like not doing it. Ever heard the word politeness?? I pissed him off too but I guess it partly my fault as well. So I'm gonna do as he says for now but if he still acts a hypocrite, a monster to me in my life, I will not leave things as it is. I will protest!

Vacation!

And what more can better things come when you're going with your besties!!! The sun view! The sandy beach! Its heaven but at last cruel fate came to bully on me again. It seems another different fairytale open up to me with the same "secret" prince it again. I call him secret because it didn't cross my mind it would be him even though he was always there. I kinda do have feeling for him but right now they're only a kinda and he wants my response. So I made a deal . During my trip he can't sms or call me. So I can think about my response. (and because its fun to tease him when he can't stop himself easily when wanting to sms or call me). Yes I'm evil.

So I'll be going around 4-7 sept!! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like writing some stuff now. Pls comment and tell watcha think!

I stand here looking

at the light blue sky

I'm thinking of you again

Your smile, your eyes and the whispers of love

you always said in my ear

Couldn't we meet again like before?

Under the shining glow of the moon

in the middle of this island where I always longed for you

The gods above are so unfair

trampling both you and I

to the point where we can't see each other

How I wish I roll the dice again

just to get the chance to be in your arms

just to hear those three words from you

Is this truly a love that cannot be true?

Well watcha think? I kinda like it. Felt kinda lovey-dovey!! So pls comment!!

Put a little hope

Today a crazy idea came over me. Telling my mum I got confessed by a few guys last year and this year too. I don't know why but theres a sudden confidence she wouldn't be mad. I mean I've been single so far..Well most of the time anyway. She took it quite well. Far more than I have expected.

You see I don't really like to keep secrets from my Mum. I love her very much and I see this friend of mine being so open to her Mum and her Mum is always saying just the right things without really showing much anger. So shes someone you could easily talk to. Shes a very nice lady and nowadays so is my AWESOME MOTHER!! hahaha!

So tell it to that person with a little hope and courage if he/she deserves to know or when you want to get it off your chest. They maybe angry for awhile about it but they calm down knowing at least you told them. Though they are a limit in how many you can reveal. So just be careful kay? Thats it for now. Bye stalker! Come back and stalk on this blog again!!

New beginnings

I just went through, well just like every teens, a problematic situation and at the end of all the monstrosity, I learn something out of it. No matter how heavy the situation you've been trough, keep a straight face and move on. Though it may be hard. Its part of growing up. Everyones like a butterfly. You may get damage while flying but one way or the other, you slowly let it go and you're reborn again. With a new and more beautiful wings.

Thats why if you notice, I change my profile pic. I'm a new born butterfly! Truthfully its not a monstrosity. Its a beautiful mess of life. Despite the heartbreaks, the joys, the tears, the laughter,the dramas, the loves and hates. All of it. In the end it will all be ok. Thats pretty much the irony that repeats itself in life. To well keep reminding us if we make the same mistake AGAIN.

Yes yes karma and life is both a bitch ain't it? Still don't don't me we can't keep move on. I just finished my moral homework (which shocks me I'm doing it at my own home) . Ok sleeping early tonight. I need to wake up early. Hope this teaches you something at LEAST. Bye and sweet dreams y'all!

I had the worst day :(

Sigh! I got my results from my mid-year exam. Science and Geography is a total pass! BUT my BM or the national language of the country I'm in, is a fail!! I couldn't even reach the passing mark. Mum is gonna get so mad I'l bet 10 bucks she'll completely break the door instead of last time she made a huge HOLE in it. It's like the size of a fucking fist!! So goodbye world! If you're a friend of mine reading this I want you to know you're invited to my funeral. Cause of death:Strangled by own mother due to failure of examination.

Why can't the world settle for one language!! HA~ At least God have heard my prayers when I prayed for my Science and some other subjects to pass. Today I was checking my iPhone (my dad say I can use it for another month! awesome much!!) and look up this tarot reading card online. It say something bad and unavoidable will come my way and I now realize its the wrath of my incredibly scary mother that is unavoidable. Even the thought of it make me shiver...

Mum is cooking fried fish at the moment.. I not telling her till report cards day.. Its better than telling her early cause by then I will be extra busy with projects and she might bother me less. Hopefully. Anyway, my close friends didn't come cause ones on holiday two are sick. Urgh. So I hang out with my classmate who is a prefect in school, her names sara. So she was making sure nobody go up stairs during recess and most of the Form 1 girl and me were there. Then theres this senior/bitch 1# and her best/bitch 2# friend with her who wanted to go up. Heres a dialog of the scene the next time i post ok need to makan!!

UPDATE!

Just an update! My dad lent me his iPhone for a week when i go on my holiday trip!! AWESOME!! I won this ticket to a one nite stay at a cool hotel with friends but there were problems so we can't go until next month.. FUCK U damn holiday for bringing so many people to the hotel! I'm eating powder milo cause I hv nothing else to eat as a snack. The last post before this, you know the guy? Well I think he starting not to like me becuz we had this weird conversation that was so awkward i ask whether he got a hangover and drunk last week due to this very traditional event most people in my country celebrate and even said I'm used to drunk people (I was just being honest! Geez...) and he also saw me played like a little girl, even though im not really little just petite size like a primary 6 at this playground near school when our exams over with my friends. He probably think he wouldn't wanna hang with me. YES!!! HOORAH!!

Operation: Show him you're not who he imagined and get him to dump you is activated and so far proceeding well. I didn't tell my best friends this though. I'll probably tell her next time i see them. I'm going Penang this wednesday. Give u the details on that later. I was so freakin high and hyper like a drugged person but not becuz in was literally drugged, i just ate chocolate fudge ice cream..gtg now..

things that been goin through my mind....

...like for example, if u ever been to Citymall, you might not think theres not pilaks or pils for short but theres is!!!! And me and my cousin got flirted by two in one day. One from giant and one from Veda Blu. I'm also going shopping again there with some friends but I'll probably won't even notice the pils.Also my mum just told me that she accidentally commented

"you gays go to chucrch tomorolah!"

the gays was suppose to be guys. Anyways, have anyone watch the annoying orange on you tube?Its hilarious!!! I suggest u watched it!

today was just so...

stuffy. As in like Im suffocating somehow...

today in church I felt like fainting, my legs were shivering and my face all pale. I even had to skip Violin class cause I wanted to take a long nap and felt a bit better when I woke up. After hours of watching this celebrity reality show, I felt like to vomit now! Urgh, somehow I manage to get up and but myself on the computer. I miss zee comp to whole day!

bout my violin classes

I haven't post abt me taking classes but today I went try for my first class and it wasn't bad. I hv to practice this really simple song the next time I go to class. I love my violin. I just kept staring at it and couldn't believe I own.It look really nice XD. I'm so happy I learn thought my first has a lot of errr. . . out of tune moments, I was still happy. Can't wait where this we'll get me!

I wanna get A's and B's...ONLY!!

Exams is next week and though I'm on the comp.I wanna get A's and B's. Mainly becuz I wanna make mum happy, get some new outfits and other (expensive XP) stuff. Hehehehehe....Oh and I'm also confident that i can basically becuz I actually prayed that everything that involves studying exams goes to God. So suddenly I do things without thinking and when I realize I am doing it, I'm like "WTH I'm doing??" but nonetheless I'm still hv to put my mind to it.

Ohr PM to J-on! (u noe who u are!!) no u can't come this week cause buzy!!!

My CNY week

Well other than my two bros being here and keeping me laughing with their jokes and stuff, that jerk was also with me and he sort of discovers this blog and decided to be my stalker through the net. So if you're reading this right now, fuck off dude!!! Seriously!!!Go off to be some other girl stalker! This week you've been teasing me and sometimes even ruin my day!! Or else I'll declare war against you!!

ANYWAY....other than my freaky stupid stalker, I gather quite a satisfying amount of money !! Wo0otZzz~!!!Bad news I still haven't do a few of my school work and school is like a few days away so I plan to do it....some other time...BOOHOO!! One of ma bros is going back tomoro!!!WAH!!!! Now I and sooner or later the other bro will go bak too. No one to play Wii!!! Or at least talk abt some of my minor teen problems to!!

my mum abandon me....LOL XP!!!

Okay so heres the story. . .I sometime (when i feel like it) go see the statue of Mother Mary and sort off pray there ofter church but only for like 1 or 2 minutes. I told my Mum i go there but when i was done and went to where she parked the car, it was GONE!! I sort of said "WTH?!?!" halfway until I realize I'm still near the church. Then I look around to see if I could find Mum still around but I guess she drove off thinking I'm in the car and that she didn't listen to me when I told her I would be somewhere else. While almost panicking, I notice this Sister and thought maybe I could borrow her phone since mine just died on me.

So I went up to her told her the whole dilemma and she let me borrow her phone. Mum was freak out and panicking like hell when she got my call and realize I'm not at the back seat. She drove like hell and by the time she sees me, she breath out a sigh of relief. I thanked the sister before she drove off and went home with my Mum. At first she felt really bad but I turn the whole story into a joke that she end laughing at the thought of it. So yeah. . . LOL.

My view on things...

These days at school hv been going just fine but the other stuff in my life just gets worse for me. I'm like so....sad...and to you guys I guess im emo too... Truth hurts right? Well Few weeks ago I found out the truth. So the truth can change your life completely. Now I look as my life sorta of ...waste..yet it won't be wasted..

"Facts are the enemies of Truth."

Ever heard of that? I kinda agree but I mostly Disagree cause' how can you find out the truth without facts? I use to think life was SO precious but after knowing the truth...I don't know now but if you ask can i fix it?

"Never limit your challenges but challenge your limits."

We all have a limit and well I'm only limited to a point where I can't fix this particular...I guess you could say "curse". My heart is sinking.My shoulder feel so heavy as if thousand of weight was put on it. I cried at night and as much as I want to scream and cry in some heavy rain where no one will notice. I can't. I . Just . Can't . Saying those words makes me feel useless as shit. Only being the "bad one" at the center of it all. So if anyone is reading this and doesn't know me at all. Just "LIVE" life. Don't just live it. You know what I mean. Enjoy what you got. but does that knows me, I'm truly sorry. Just. Truly. Sorry.

I'm an American Idol!!!..........viewer..LOL

Funny title rite? So is anyone gonna watch? I am! Me!! Can't you me waving my hands here!?! Well of course you can't! Thats absurd!! HAHAHA!! I feel so FREAKIN HYPER!!!WOOHOO!! SUGAR LEVEL HIGH!! BLOOD PRESSURE TOO!!! Woooo00000oooooTzzzzz!!!!!!! OoooO0oooois almost time for the show!!!! OH MA GAWD!!!! LOL!!!!

Mum is being creep out rite now..She's just jealous cause I'm so freakin happy and energectic while she not! ( yes people I'm so energetic to the point of making sarcastic, wrong and childish reasons) WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Ok bye!!! need to put out my energy on something else now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUH-BYE!!!!

Thoughts again...

While today I think I'm starting to feel a weird. Like when I dream, I don't dream thing that I like. Nor is it the kind of nightmares I would get. Lately people I never seen appear in my dreams. And well, last night was the fourth time I see them only this time I tried to talk to them but the minute my mouth open, nothing came out. So we just stood there in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence surprisingly. Anyway they were only a little girl that night. Each night I dream different people.

Anyway this little girl was just adorable!! She look more adorable than my niece!! But there was something wrong too when I look at her. She look such an angel yet she look at me like she was sad or something. I didn't do anything but yet she just stand there looking at me sadly. Then she suddenly turn around as if someone is calling her but there wasn't no voice. After that she turn back to me and wave goodbye (I think?). She walk back and disappear. That when I woke up. Seriously, whats is with me. I feel like I'm getting weirder by the day. Ugh....anyway mustn't be on the computer too long so gotta go!

Thought....i forgot what number.

I was just listening to this song called "Live like we're dying" by Kris Allen. Well its true that u hv to do everything before you go.You gotta tell your mum that you love her and Dad. You gotta forgive those who you treated so badly.But heck I'm almost goin 13. I still have loads of time! This is what I think.

"Youth is priceless so don't waste it that easily."

Its true. When you grow older and when you think u're at the edge of death, only then you should look at the time and go do the stuff you gotta do. For now I'm gonna work hard but have fun with all the youth that I got!! If you're wondering abt this topic's name, i lost count sort of the number of thoughts. I mean we all do have countless of them!! Anyway, need to go now! bye bye!!

A quick thought...

Well like I said in the previous post. My time limit on the computer have been fucking shorten. So I'll try to make this long but quick!! School is going smoothly but I have a feeling drama will come soon and hope that it won't involves me!! Urmm...Oh ya! I have to wake up early tomorrow on a Saturday just for Cross Country. We have to go to Bukit Padang there and do 2 and a half round at the jogging track. I plan on just slowing down and run when I feel like its the right time for me. Hmm.....Thats about it......yeah.....

So I guess thats all I can think about right now. So bye....still there?....I said thats IT!! NO MORE!!! Why are you still reading?? Urk.....whatever. If you're not leaving then I will so buh-bye!

Thinking it back. . .

Well its the end of 2009!!!! And I feel like thinking about some old memories. I now realize why some of the old can't never look at the light at OUR century with all the technologies and stuff. Its because in their days, where everything seems to be just fun and happy enough for them, are the days where sometimes our century could never hold but can only keep changing.So I guess I might be like that when I'm old or maybe not. Who knows?

But sometimes it's like to the old the next generation is nothing but for the young to repair the mistakes they left behind or couldn't repair or for the young to make their own mistakes. Within that process they learn things and well. . .they may learn it through the though way or the easy way. This year I learn things the easy way but for things that I never ever encounter or knew it exist, I had to learn it out the tough way. Now I would like to separate the bad and good memories.

The Bad

I seen the dramas, the fights, but also the harsh truth. For 2009, I wanted to become more tough in those things. I wanted to stand up instead of being punch down and staying down crying. I used to do that only I did fight back but it was a small blow. Next year, I intend to have more self-confidence and stand up. Even my older brother now considered me as a "rebellious teen" which made me happy a little.

The Good

I realize what I posses since I am now "rebellious" , I posses in fighting back at my parents. Sometimes they pin me down. Like holding me back on stuff when I really am confident with what I CAN do. Like I could have told that hair stylist who cut out my horrible hair EXACTLY what to do but no. Mum was the one who told her what to do without even asking me if I agree to it. When I saw hair, I was so mad and when Mum kept embarrassing me infront of that hairstylist (which she thinks she is cheering me up instead of embarrassing me.), I shot up this face with my eyes like I never did before and her smile fade. She kept quite and just ask me what to do next. So every time she brings up about my hair, I gave her that same look and she frowns and kept quite. I knew that I am capable to do that any time. Did I regret it? No. Honestly no. I don't feel guilt at all. I feel sorta happy. Nowadays, she know next time how capable I am a little.

This also happens to my Dad. I still have my cough and when I feel awfully tired and kept coughing, I look at Dad with my eyes. It made him look away and that he feel guilty about it somehow. I never seen Dad do that at me. It was a good experience for me in fact. Now can make them feel that because I can do that same face with that expression. I can now "unpin" myself. I feel kinda powerful now!! Hahahahaha! LoL!! >W<

ok! Thats all about it. Look!! Look how much Good happen to me more then the bad!! Bwahahahaha!! 2009 is definitely considered a GREAT year for me!!!