Lean on me!

So I've been decorating my net like my theme for Google Chrome is Dolce&Gabbana and I'm loving it! I've even change my mum's chrome at her laptop to her fav designer, Anna Sui. It add a sort of "you" when I go online and I feel myself. I've even change up my blog and profile pic if you guys notice and it feel fresh and calm to see it now seeing I'm trying to go for that vibe. So this post is dedicated to my friend, Life's recent post.

You don't have to figure it alone, I can help! Having you've been having a lot of "me" times? I told you many times before but in a "me" time, you don't just absorb everything around you and yourself. Sure it okay to admit your personality flaws that aren't a positive thing, as long as you change that, you're alright but you gotta remember your positive points too. We aren't perfect true but it doesn't mean we're just garbage. Like for me, I can be a bit TOO much which at times are good but bad as well. I'm quite thick skin and I don't care at times. It okay to build a small sense of ego if it would help your self-esteem and earn you some self-confidence. In life there are many thing that could happen. With that fact in mind, there are people who are so shy and acts cowardly so they won't get in on the action because they're afraid. Then you have people like me, who will take action but is decisive about her next act. Simply put if I were you, I would go to that class and deem my seat before anyone else. If they don't like it, leave them. You took the sit earlier and its your seat right?

Another thing, you say you can solve it but you can't when you are holding doubts within you. You shouldn't doubt yourself at all if you're not at fault. You should make a list of your pros and cons about yourself and then just accept them. As long as you improve your flaws as well as keeping your good points, you can prove that you are YOU. You should embrace and love you for you can't love anyone else when you can't love yourself.

You're teen and at this phase you have to think what YOU want and who YOU are. Its normal and others shouldn't be the judge of that when they're teens themselves. So far my "who am I" mental essay have gone this far:

"Hi my name is Tatiana and I'm 14. I'm a semi-crazy,semi-random. I suddenly burst out in a weird fit of laughter when I think of something funny and my friends freak out at that momentarily. I am a indecisive and messed up liar.I have a confidence which I am always constantly building up. My existence is known by people whom I'm not even close to and I'm proud at that because I love to mark my very presence on this earth by just being me. I am insecure and when you push me in a way I REALLY don't like, I am not afraid to slash out and act like a bitch. I can be cheeky but that rare seeing I'm barely feeling mischievous. I have old fashion yet semi-modern (?) parents with two awesome smartass bros. I'm very good at killing mosquitos yet I love LOVE vampires. I like to mess with people, especially does that can't handle me. I LOVE GOD and I have a mouth that slips in bad things at times. I love that I can do what I love to do and I'm VERY blunt and straight-forward at certain specific moments. I want to study in the UK and be an author as well as a journalist. I want to travel and learn more to embrace who I am and to embrace this Earth crazy culture. I kinda hate being evil at times but I've just can't help it and is working on that. I am open-minded and I can forgive and forget MOST things. I will only ever deny an evil act that happen based on evil purposes. I embrace the bi,the homos and such because I've believe that each human deserves to be understood no matter how many times you see the obvious and because I am human myself and I want people to understand me. I don't care if they still are bad to me because at least I'm not the bad guy in it. I never talk behind my hater's back because I know deep down that they just bully me just for they're own reasons seeing as they seem to "claim" to KNOW me. I will scream shut up! if I'm irritated and I hate people that does not try to understand me but I've don't really hate long. I mean I don't like being a hater."

This is what I learn of myself so far. So what about you guys? How far do you know yourself? and if you're true to it, why should some rumors stop you from being who you are?

Competition

This is my 2nd competition and it'll be a bit trickier than the last one. This is for those who are my commenters and for girls obviously. Moving aside the sexist statement, the prizes are jewellary which will only be further specified at the announcement post of the winner. Note there is no s at the end of the last word in the previous sentence.

I want you to do a lovey-dovey scene using Damian, Amber, Joshua and Ever ONLY. The thing about this is you can make any one of the characters be with any other partners. You can go DamianxEver or AmberxJoshua or you can use the usual couples or maybe if you're confident, you can do a explicit relationship of AmberxEver and DamianxJoshua. I'm very open minded so yeah I support that last suggestion if you want to but keep in mind that whn you describe them, please make sure they don't act like someone other then who they are in my stories. Its insulting to me. So you can make a sweet love scene or a hot steamy, I'm all arms for it! Who knows, if you can balance the logic and the daring storyline in ur post, you might win on the spot. Plus, it doesn't have to be entirely lovey and steamy, just MOSTLY. You can like add a drama, like say Amber and Ever is making out and Joshua enters and caught them. Something like that would definently make me excited to read!

Have to be at LEAST 5 paragraphs or more! (3 sentences= an actual paragraph. So any sentence less than that doesn't count as a paragraph kay?) Sorry I didn't post earlier :P

So the expiry date is 3 November and I'll really looking forward to your post. Please post it only on this post kay?

P.S. if you doing explicit relationship, I'll accept if the characters are different cuz they would be different if they were in to explicit relatioships)

Updates

I have exams from 14th till the 2oth of October and starting tomorrow I'll be only on my com within a two hour limit which I'm dead set on following. This will be muah last exam so I will have LOADS of time to update stories oh and I'll be sort of busy rebelling and getting this one thing that I'm setting my heart on for it to come true.

I'll be going to KL (this is like 66% that I'm sure we're going) to see my new niece! Her name is Noelle and she's just born this year in July 28th. Hopefully she isn't as evil genius as her older sis, 4 year old Avril who has the same birthday as me. Evil, runs in the family :) I am 100% sure that I will be going Hong Kong for I think 2 weeks or so, but thats only in november or december I figure.

Anyway, I was in the mall with my Mum while waiting for my facilist to finish her lunch break and I saw this brunnette dude wearing an unfamiliar high school uniform. He was foreign and its been some time since I see a foreigner other than through skype. Especially a hot teenage one. He had electrifying blue eye and some freckles which can only be seen if you were at least a person away from him. So I he was hanging with some asian guys (they weren't bad looking either but he was like bam! out of all of them) and I was about to pass by till this foreign dude got push by one of friends as a joke and bump into me. He apologized and he actually heard of me and I realize he's a lil brother of one my friends. Ironic much..

I have some shopping and you might win some of the stuff that I'll buy in these trips. Thats right the competition I promise. Details on that on the next post after this. So look forward to that my readers!!

Ah decisions, you make me sick..

Literally though. I'm ACTUALLY sick. I have a slight fever and a sore throat but I don' think its because of the decisions that I just found out last night. Its a huge life changing decision and I want it SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to happen next year. I can't give details yet seeing its not confirmed but just pray for me that it'll happen my readers! Please? Still I have bits of doubts so....I'll need one last person's opinion then maybe I know what I really want to do.

Today..

was fun. Other than the pain I've am so used to emitting in my feet seeing I wore ankle boots with heels today. Surprisingly a lot of teenager took the public holiday on Friday today as a chance to hang out and Suria was like pack with teens everywhere. You could see a mixture of guys and girls in all kinds of fashion. I watch Johnny English Reborn today and it was EPICLY and FUNNILY AWESOME!!! So recommend you to watch. Plus seeing as it was release today, the halls were pack! So everyone was laughing, commenting and even clapping throughout the movie. I saw a couple of my seniors and a few ex-classmates but the most number type of people you could see was COUPLES! I don't know the specifics but usually when its nearing to October, they are a LOT of couples. I'm not sure people notice but when you reach like the last 4-5 months of the year, you'll suddenly see relationships status posted up at ur FB or when you go to a mall, you'll see way more couples than the other month.

I'm not sure if I'm correct but around this time when you made pass MOST of the year, people tend to suddenly want to have a companion by their side that they can affectionately spend time with. Sometime you see this phase take affect much earlier like this September or even more in October which I call the "Hormonal Month". Its always like this, for me anyway so I don't know about you guys. Sometimes the number couples are not as re actively the same every year but its bound to have some sudden bit of romance that just pops out of nowhere. So you either see loads of couples or guys suddenly finding and flirting more than usual. This phase doesn't seem to react with single girls but I'm not entirely sure of that. Sometimes even girls start to go out there and catch "fish" than usual. Just less noticeable. My opinion anyway.

So other than that, we shop and I had a lil drama with my Mum and I'm a not proud to say that "I am broke..." *sigh* But its not like I regret what I spent at least. So hope you guys out there had an awesome day like today too!

Updates!!!

So tomorrow I'm going all rock on mode to shop with friends and because I've feel the need to try something new. I have less things to do now. I've just finish least most of my tasks and I've feel lighter. * queuing in "Lighters" by Eminem ft. Bruno Mars & Royce Da 5'9* Freaking love the rap. So yeah, I've also be having report card day! (silent but loud screams emits...). I might be having competition but not this month. Maybe after my last exam, I'll do one where you the comment-ers can participate. So be on a lookout for that. Now back to my rap~~

"I love it when I tell them

shove cause it wasn't that

Long ago when Marshall sat

flustered, lacked luster, Cause

he couldn't cut mustard, muster

up nothing Brain fuzz cause

he's buzzin, woke up from that

Buzzer. Now you wonder why he

does it how he does it?

Wasn't cause he had buzzards

Circling around his heads

waiting for him to drop dead

was it?

Or was it cause some bitches

wrote him off? Little hussy ass

scuzzes, fuck it, guess it

doesn't matter now, does it?"

My fav part of the song!! Can never get tired rapping it~~

Today weak, Tomorrow strong

I'm like listening to Lil Wayne - How To Love - Christina Grimmie & Tyler Ward (Rock Cover) and I've feel somehow empowered though isn't suppose to be empowering but sweet and understanding. Now I feel like those peace hippies that just wants peace and love. Call me a total girl but I don't see why can't we love? I mean I'm not telling everyone to get along and stuff but those that just pisses you off, why can't we learn to love em after all that hate again? I mean we can't hate forever but we surely can with loving. Its just hard but worth it. People tells me I forgive and that my love is easy and sometimes I guess it is but thinking about it now, I don't think so. If you look around and think how much the people around have done for you out of love, its nice and well I've guess I've experience enough. I've learn that we're all human and we can't just let superficial insecurities of society be the official judge of feelings. Sometimes you gotta ask yourself this "Do I like hate?". Not really. We hate cause we have an attitude. We hate cause we have a problem with certain things that are sometimes petty reasons but in truth, we're too scared or pathetic or dumb to give love one more chance. Teenagers especially are open about it but sometimes we aren't giving it our all. Even if it didn't work out, at least you can honestly say you gave your VERY best. "Love is such an old fashioned word that you youths today don't really give your all into". Now back to my wonderful song~

You had a lot of crooks try to steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out
How to love
How to love

You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you're in this corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

For a second you were here
Now you over there
It's hard not to stare, the way you moving your body
Like you never had a love
Never had a love~

Glee and the Glee Project!

Now I love Glee not only for their Electric, heart touching and AWESOME versions of song that are both modern,classic or not well known to the youth today. They have both realistic and yet dramatic story line for each of the characters. Its like High School Musical (only way better than them) combine with 90210! But what I admire the most it the acceptance of different people from different background with such interesting personality. We have Kurt who is gay and have an awesome sense of fashion or Rachel who is extremely bitchy disguised under all those awful sweaters or how Puck is like this awesome hard ass dude that is for Jewish. These days, you can barely get such acceptance just anywhere and viewers can relate to them as well. God bless you Ryan Murphy!

The glee project is just as awesome with some similarities like the Glee cast and just as awesomely talented in singing, dancing and being them. Again applauds to Ryan Murphy. Love you till the end Cameron and Damian!! <3

A bad habit

I have this horrible habit of being forward or to say blunt. Sometimes I do consider things but if I really want to, I'll go out and just say it just to see your reaction, your answer and what you're gonna do next. I'm just a curious and mischievous person though I don't seem like it.

I remember once they were some friends in some stupid love triangle and the guy involve seem too confused what to do next, while we went bowling and I so happen to be having a break as he was at the opposing team, I went and ask him the question he asks himself quietly. He was shock at first and didn't expect that. The conversation were a bit awkward that we started debating (I felt pathetic thinking about that now but not so much at the least) and soon he knew what to do and the lil love fuse blew off.

Sometime this sense of no modesty can lead me to trouble like how I got some guy to scold me about me not being "feminine" enough and should just shut up. I ask him why and he said I'm a girl then I labelled him a sexist which most of my classmate didn't know the meaning to. When I explain that he labels everyone only by gender at that they have no free will of being who they are, they accuse him of being a gay and he got mad at me and I pointed at them saying "Dude! They're the ones calling you gay!! All I called you was sexist..". And then feeling the idiot he felt that day, he never talk but glare at me since. Though he was right about shutting up but I just can't help it. Its in my nature!! Plus they are some advantages. I can use to black mail people bwahahahahha (I don't really do that often but still...) Whats you really bad habit? Me curious =W=