R.I.P

This is dedicated to my schoolmate, Chun, for I found out this morning that he passed away last night. I never knew he had leukemia. He just seem carefree and didn't had any worries. He like any other guys. The clown of the group he was hanging. Its like the picture I had of all the form 2 together smiling and joking around had a missing part. Like someone just took out scissors and cut him out of that picture permanently.I did notice he wasn't in school a lot but I didn't take it as it was weird for him to come irregularly. At first nobody believed because he was online last night on facebook when it turned out it was the last thing he did before he left. It was just a rumor and we all wanted it to be untrue until our class teacher confirmed it during assembly.

We all were shock. Eyes widen. Mouth hanging open. Soon chatters starts and we were told to give a brief silence to pray. And in that silence, my heart felt sad. Christina started crying and Denise & Chan Yng tried to hush her silently to pray. My legs felt weak and numb. Tears formed at the very corner of my eyes. Its amazing how someone you know but not necessarily close to can give you such grief now that they're gone.

So I'm gonna say this now. Please God may you forgive and bless his soul and that he is in heaven by your side. And Chun,I'm really sorry if weren't all that close but I sincerely hope that you are somewhere in peace and happiness.I also hope to go to your funeral and give one final goodbye. Its hurt to say goodbye but it hurts and stabs more to say goodbye forever.

Oh my gosh I think I'm going to cry now.

Being sensitive

Some people says they hate people that cries over easily stuff, others can't simply be strong. Both sides in my opinion are wrong to me.You have to let your emotions out because they are times when no one can hold it in all the time. That what are other people for and is also what are friends for. I want a friend to by my side to support me and I can let out my emotions pour out and after that I'll feel better and stronger. I want to pour out all that I feel before it becomes full and start spilling everywhere. You must not cry over the same thing all the time. You either cry and just let it go or do something about it.

There is no wrong crying just as there is no wrong to smiling right? Thats why I try to understand and be by your side but I guess I forgot to empty myself and ended spilling all over the place. So I don't know whether you know this but in my heart I always pray to become a better and stronger me. "Please help me watch my mouth Lord." "Please help me to be more honest to myself." It stuff like that which repeats in my heart.

Do you know that you're not a coward for showing your true feelings to others? You're pretty brave but you sometime gotta guard and let them out at the right timing you know? Its like you're brave but an idiot too but I'm an idiot and a coward so...

I love it till it brought tears.

Song:

Tsunaida te ni Kiss wo (try listen piano version)

I heard it from an anime and was just touched when I read the lyrics.

Lyrics:

Soshite bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita
ikizuku hai no naka no honoo
hitotsu, futatsu to ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao
daichi ni taruru ikusen no yume, yume

Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni
umare ochita kagayaku omae
ikuoku no toshitsuki ga
ikutsu inori wo tsuchi e kaesshitemo

Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
douka konoko ni ai wo
tsunaida te ni kisu wo

Soshite bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita
ikizuku hai no naka no honoo
hitotsu, futatsu to ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao
daichi ni taruru ikusen no yume, yume

Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni
umare ochita kagayaku omae
ikuoku no toshitsuki ga
ikutsu inori wo tsuchi e kaesshitemo

Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
douka konoko ni ai wo
tsunaida te ni kisu wo

Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
douka konoko ni ai wo
tsunaida te ni kisu wo

English:
So the little infant fell into a deep sleep.
Among the grey ashes in the flames shining...First one,then two ...
Surfaces numerous of your faces

A thousand dreams trickle back to the earth
On the night when the silver eyes were trembling , the shining you was born
Across millions of years,the prayers have already returned back to the earth

I will still continue to pray
Please bestow upon this child your love
Upon our joined hands, leave a gentle kiss

So the little infant fell into a deep sleep.
Among the grey ashes in the flames shining...First one,then two ...
Surfaces numerous of your faces

A thousand dreams trickle back to the earth
On the night when the silver eyes were trembling , the shining you was born
Across millions of years,the prayers have already returned back to the earth

I will still continue to pray
Please bestow upon this child your love
Upon our joined hands, leave a gentle kiss

I will still continue to pray
Please bestow upon this child your love
Upon our joined hands, leave a gentle kiss