Hopeless Hoarder and her Awesome Mum

I like to hoard stuff. I admit it. I just like to keep something whether I really love it or not. However when it comes to my clothes and accessories, I got my arms wrap around them way more than other things. My over decade old wardrobe which was all I have ever store my clothes now attacks me. There are day when my leather jacket bombs on me or when my hoodies decides to ambush me and frankly I've just been sick of it. I mean usually I solve this problem by getting rid of old clothes I barely used ever but with all of them being new, there isn't any OLD to get rid of. The only thing old is in are my small section of childhood outfits that I want to keep for future uses so I can't throw them away either. 


I don't want to get rid of the wardrobe itself yet a part of me do. One, its a hassle to take all my clothes out, somehow break the wardrobe so its easier to throw it away when you live in an apartment, and get a new one and DIY it yourself in your room. I can imagine the dust and mess the whole process could cause.


Seeing my Mum is back from Switzerland, she got me loads of more clothes and I'm freaking in love with them!! I got a stripe oversized tee by Mango. One great cardigan and a navy one too. A floral dress and a high waisted skirt, A casual pink shirt for when at home. A pink checkered one. Even accessories too like a vintage clock necklace and a baby blue swatch watch! Nothing like buying a brand from its original country! 


Because of this my inner shopping monster has been tamed and the mega money I wanted to bring for this shopping spree I planned with a couple of friends has been decreased. My mum however says otherwise. She says I already got loads of stuff and I'm admitting it but I still want to buy at least 3 other items but they may have to be readjusted once again. At least shes still letting me hangout with them for shopping. I just hope I could get away with buying some pants at least. Fingers crossed.


Gonna make my Mum happy and save my feminine side tomorrow at church by wearing that new floral dress my Mum got me. I'm not sure whether to pair that with my cardigan or denim jacket but I'll leave that to tomorrow's SweetMe. Not now. I'm doing so since its Mother's day! I would not be who I am today if it weren't for her. I wouldn't discover my love for fashion nor would I have any. Haha. I wouldn't have the support and less of a reason to study in order to achieve my goals. I would have been the most suicidal and depressed teen. I would have been someone worth almost to nothing. I wouldn't been able to love life in general. 


So I'm gonna be the most of a daughter I can be for her! Happy Mother's Day Mum!! I love you and hope you keep doing what you do because without that, I wouldn't even be typing this. Hope you, my readers, do something for your Mum's because I know you guys wouldn't be anywhere who you are today without them. Pamper them. Cook for them. Cause they truly deserve it no?

Bipolar Wednesday

I do not know where to begin. Nor do I think I can go to the beginning but then there wouldn't be a need to post this so.. Deep breath. Exhale. Okay. It all began waking up at 7 in the morning. Already informing on a trustworthy friend of my expected absence through sms last night,  I played a bit of nintendo. My cousin warned me not to come out for a shower yet since she needed do a bit of cleaning and when I finally can take a shower, I grab my stuff for a simple breakfast of ham and cheese toast with Sam, my cousin. We talk at about her stupid lecturer who last minute gave them a tough job that needed the internet to complete when he told him yesterday not to bring their laptop. Seeing she too did not go to class, she was informed that they were given the task today, the horrid Wednesday, and finish this afternoon. I mused over the ridiculous irresponsibility her lecturer been and gladly lent a hand in venting her anger about it which in my opinion, she had the right too.


After that we went home and I managed to gain a set of new cheats for Mario Bros for a bit and when it was almost nearing 12am, we went off to Terminal 1.I had wear my long sleeve loose shirt of "Life is a journey towards the guiding light" and long skinny jeans to avoid the cold of the huge airport. I had small chatter with Sam as we both couldn't wait to FINALLY see our Mum but and hour pass and we all start to question. Sam relentlessly cursed and tried many time to access a proper internet to Facebook to see whether or not her Mum had messaged us for a delay in there flight or if my Mum post anything recent in m timeline or just to find any kind of latest news from them but none. Another more hour passed and we had shared one pack of cheesy wedges and cup of pepsi at the small section of KFC there and still no Mums. We had come for a non-existent flight since we were told they be at 12.20 but there were only random flight that didn't connect to theirs at 12.10-30am. We were getting fed up from waiting and checking the arrival list shown on the TV they had. After having concluded that they most likeliest be on the Royal Brunei Airline and much double-checking, we knew they were a flight from that same airline at 7pm and 10pm that day. So we went off to Tanjung Aru and had a full meal at the KFC there.


Sam suggested going to the beach there to which I agree. I mean, why not? So we spent 3 relaxing hours there. Sinking our legs in the damp sand as the salty water sweeps over our feet and wets our folded jeans. Taking photos along the process. I wrote a few quotes, took pictures and dig out small tiny crabs with just a wiggle of my toe. The wind blew my hair and I enjoyed it. After that we washed our legs and head towards the swings in the nearby playground they had and rest until we had to scout out for my Uncle and bought some drinks before leaving off to Terminal 1 once again.


Again, not one of our Mums are among the arrivals of tourists. Fed up mood meter has increase considerably. During the time we waited nearly another hour there, we ate McD's and checked out  Diamoney. Then we decided to spend time at the shop lots that is by Beverly Hills. I was almost poofed but with the Double Cheeseburger I had, I had some adrenaline in my veins to keeps me alert.WE had to stop by a phone shop for Sam's phone to be charged since Uncle's died on him and mine could do the same just about any unpredictable time. After that we went to some 101 outlet shop selling stuff like Pick 'n' Pay, only minus anything food related and plus in children and adult clothes as well as accessories. Th shoe clothes were lame, well the material of it anyway was cheap and fake yet the price were near to unreasonable so we got out of that shop quickly and went to Milimewa Market where we tirelessly roam around looking for something to hyped us up as well as dodging the flirty attempts of male workers.


I didn't realize this but at the time, the road was damp, most shops were closed and the only light source were a few Roti Canai shops and MOSTLY from the neon names of Pubs and Bars which did disturbed me when drunkards whistle out on us from these dens of alcohol and karaoke. Our last shop raid was 7-eleven and on the way we found actually an appropriate house cat that was somewhat attracted to Sam. The feline even had the almost exact eyes of Puss in Boots. Though its fur had white,orange and black mixed. It followed us as Sam call upon it and out of pity, I bought those dry thin fish sticks and it accepted it humbly but it got fed up and wasted 3 fish sticks and continued to purr and ask for attention from Sam and I. Sam even was serious on bringing it back home! This as the part where we got really crazy.


We kept laughing ridiculously as people stare at us for we were sitting by the side walk, literally talking to the cat for its meek behavior. People of course stare at us like we're lunatics and we were very much aware of that. Later after being almost drained, drank a cup of water while watching sucky 90's chinese comedy at a restaurant, we wait at the entrance for Sam's dad to pick us up. There is a police station nearby and that because of the few pubs around in the area so they were doing their duty call and when they saw us, they look at us suspiciously. We were appropriately dressed and just because we were just a few stores away from some lame ass pub, doesn't mean we were near anything illegal.


Finally after what felt miserably long, her dad arrive and for the last time of the whole crazy night, with went back to the airport. While waiting I manage to come across Korean guards (one of them to which look quite the dashing mature guy) discussing on what barriers to put and a few calling of "Jay Park" which confirms me enough that they were planning for his Arrival to KK. Still no Mum and I got a call from my bro, Douglas while Sam was on skype on her phone who at the same time finally reach her bro and we found out from him that he has her Mum's ticket. They only arrive tomorrow at 12.


At that moment, tired and restless and feeling as screwed up as ever. I got a bit teary and mumble poetic stuff. Just going on about "How I've feel nothing. No I don't feel like shit. I just don't give a piece of shit." And slept. So yeah quite the Wednesday to which I felt totally drained from. I had fun and I got a taste of what it like to just roam around the streets acting silly at least. Partly yes of all the stress I had but mostly because of the nice crazy memories I got. I mean Sam is gonna go to Sandakan two days after her birthday next month and I knew there will be a day like that and to have real good bonding to assure me really helps to know that no matter what, we'll still be close as any sisters could.

Biography of the not-so-lucky-girl

She was born in a small crib of Queen Elizabeth Hospital on 19th June 1997. At the time her parent were living in Beaufort and she was their first chubby little infant to which the parents were overjoyed. As many babies, she had the cheeks of what all your typical aunts would love to pinch and cuteness that makes you go "Aww." She pretty much was your typical baby.


Her times in kindergarten were brief, simple and common. The most memorable memory she has of this phase of her life was that she like a boy at the time. Maybe it was just a small kinder feeling of this young 5 year old girl's heart. It was obviously not a distinctive one but she never did tell the boy for whatever reason that she can't seem to remember now.


Her primary 1 and 2 were primarily as normal, nothing quite special until she move to Kingfisher and transfer school at St.Simon for Primary 3 where everyone seem to opted her with questions of whether she was fully chinese or not. At the delicate age of 10, she truly like someone and rumored to like someone else. True more confusing rumors and such, she pretty much spend a couple of years being taunt with "Sitting in the Tree" chorus. At primary 6, now over her crush and gaining more new friendship. She had a memory of her last year as a primary student that still dances alive in her mind as if it had never left her. The graduation stage with the singing of her old classmates still resounds in her ears. The tears shed that night weren't forgotten either.On her first day of entering High School, she was nervous. Knowing she'll be able to see a handful of her previous school's classmates but anticipating at what High School in general, was like. Her mind was filled with simply getting through in this important phase of her life academically successful. Life however had other plans.


For the 2 years of high school she had first, she was already deemed commonly as someone who will get a pHd. Someone who will operate and prescribes pills to patients. Ever since primary in actual fact that everybody have known since her goal in medication. Form 2 also included using a fellow friend whose heart was given to her but never has she truly taken it, even when she dated the guy. In fact, admittedly and of course regretfully she simply used him to get over a previous guy she like at form1 which she managed to do so.


Currently at Form3, her best friends likes the same guy she wanted to be rid off and this friend of hers shall be known as "Rayne". This year is also important since a major exam like PMR is approaching and sworn to having a single heart and a narrow mind to books, projects and endless studying. She have turn a new sudden passion in fashion. Her goals of being a doctor diminished and frankly her close peers have gotten over their surprise and support her on this, which explains the picture of a random design ,for this post if you connect the two by now. I would say her style of designs would be urban rock and hope to flourish it. 


 She expected the unexpected though and call it minor faith or that her heart was making its course down cupid's lane but she did not expect to like someone again. Neither did she expect to have an imbalance amount of feeling for TWO guys. Still loyal to hear oath, there is only so much willpower she can muster, my question is "How long will she last?"
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This conclude my very short pre-biography. Much like a story I admit but I enjoy it. Out of total boredom of not knowing fully how to update on my story, I decide to instead give you my readers, A bio of my dear friend who has accepted my offer to be allowed to interview her on this. Hope you like it and hope I do not-so-lucky girl proud. Seeya and remember to comment!

To DewberryRaynefall

This post is dedicated to my friend who has a liking towards someone. Now I don't know who this guy is and I don't she plans to tell me but I am always believer in giving things a try and I guess I would like to say that there are many happiness in this world that is planned for only certain people at a certain time. The thing is though, we don't know whether we're that person or which time or what happiness we are meant to take. So we can only keep trying. Your own happiness can only be grasp by you yourself. No other and thing about this is that you can only go for it while you pray and hope it'll turn out for the better.


Its like a gamble we make everyday but that doesn't mean you should stop there. Like YOLO and my other fav motto Carpe Diem (mean Seize the Day!). Here is a question you should ask:

Plus if things don't go as they plan, don't worry. You got us crazy bunch to bring you back up. Even we will pray things will go great for you y'know? And don't underestimate that for a single second. Well thats about it, I hope you appreciate how much I mean everything said because its not often I dedicate a post to someone while adding one of my best picture out of my collection. Ciao amigos!

Insecure abt yourself?

Well then try read this!

In other words, everybody is beautiful. However sometimes beauty is within the eyes of the beholder. So work on the inside first than the outside. 

Titanic

I just watched  the 3D movie of Titanic and I had to admit, it was a real experience. Even though I had watched that movie so many time on my own TV, it gave a more grasping experience as to what it was really like for those people 100 years ago. I cried even before they got too the sad scene because what went through my head again and again was that "That sort of tragedy actually happened." Can you believe it all happened on 15th April 1912? After a bit of researching, there was actually a man name Jack Dawson that died on Titanic. A cheery women with the title "Unsinkable Molly Brown". A band member that had played his last hymn "Autumn" as Titanic sanked, named Wallace Hartley. I admired both Molly and Wallace spirit as Titanic sank. Especially Wallace because he tried to calmed people or even my view, played everyone's last song like a funeral but in the most subtle and caring matter that it didn't seem regretful. I salute you guys for that.


The movie also not only emphasize on how people wanted so much to live with scenes of punching some of the employees their meaningless orders of staying behind or money being used to trifle a space on the boat but also how people accepted death and decides they held their pride and let others be saved. How gentlemen decided to be in their best tux and to die as gentlemen. How fathers and lovers fight for both children and women to be saved despite the heart wrenching farewell they had to do.


It was also sad at how the ship were expected to be the ship of dreams to those people. That it was built for a happy purpose, though with the unnecessary categorizing of class. Whether they were bad or good, they all had dream. To live even better at New York. To have had a huge loss at all those chances was something my mind could not comprehend to have accept nor for my heart to bear.I often dream of walking down Titanic's smooth wooden floor. Walking the famous Grand Staircase that had a beautiful domed-shaped ceiling that will make you in awe of it. Listening to the small clinks and clanks of new porcelain dishes.


I am so grateful for James Cameron for writing and directing Titanic as well as able to connect loads of the real facts about the real Titanic. His dedication to rebuilding Titanic to resemble it as close as the original is something far more than just commendable and to make sure it delivers a realistic hold on its audience was something I shall always admire. The moving romance between Rose and Jack is something I will forever learn from as to never give up on something that is worth myself to never let go. (The pic above is my favorite lines from the film). Especially Jack always positive thinking of the unexpected of Life itself. The way he saved Rose in every way a person can be saved. 


I'm dedicating this post to the one thousand five hundred and seventeen lives that were lost. Many of the survivors have as well passed on, as well as the last survivor of Titanic, Millvina Dean, who had died at the age of 97 years old. I do not hope for Titanic to be seen as something that was a horrible ship, just the tragic disaster that had come upon it. I like think it was a magnificent ship that knows forever sleeps deep within Ocean's depths. 


Rest in peace people of Titanic, you shall be remembered as time stretches to its end. 

I've been ignorant

Not in a bad sense nor for a bad situation but lately I've been so into my current work which is my PMR that seems to be a constant excuse for me to keep dwelling myself in work together with my friends but I almost forgot about other things. Things that are so important me and although I was getting used to its absence, most of me were ready to not see it ever again. However, a small part of me wished that I see them again


There has been so many stuff going on and I'm pretty sure its not just me but time seems to speed up a lot this year. Like its helping get over this huge obstacle of my last year as a lower form student as fast as it can. I mean its April already! It felt like just yesterday I was still in the middle of February. And during the fast phase of time, I had loads of stuff going on and today I sort of almost fainted with vague memories of what had happen since I had some conscience left in me. I saw white splotches everywhere but I manage to keep awake and I'm sure of that since I saw a few people's faces and I'm sure in between the tempting provoking of my mind to tell me to sleep and from my desire to stay awake. I've done some PRETTY embarrassing things but you know what screw even more, I can't recall what really happened. Not one bit. GAH.


Anyway, not the point of this post, suddenly I see things a bit slower in a more steadier pace that I realized people whom I was once expected to see even though now I don't. This person seem to affect in a manner that wasn't at all moving but it was a familiar gesture that I was fond of. Maybe still even am. Who knows. The heart is strange contraption that almost seem unpredictable. However, I'm not hoping anything from this sudden appearance of this person. I've grown through stuff to know what to expect and what not to expect. Though sometimes its exciting when the unexpected comes at you right?