You don't have to figure it alone, I can help! Having you've been having a lot of "me" times? I told you many times before but in a "me" time, you don't just absorb everything around you and yourself. Sure it okay to admit your personality flaws that aren't a positive thing, as long as you change that, you're alright but you gotta remember your positive points too. We aren't perfect true but it doesn't mean we're just garbage. Like for me, I can be a bit TOO much which at times are good but bad as well. I'm quite thick skin and I don't care at times. It okay to build a small sense of ego if it would help your self-esteem and earn you some self-confidence. In life there are many thing that could happen. With that fact in mind, there are people who are so shy and acts cowardly so they won't get in on the action because they're afraid. Then you have people like me, who will take action but is decisive about her next act. Simply put if I were you, I would go to that class and deem my seat before anyone else. If they don't like it, leave them. You took the sit earlier and its your seat right?
Another thing, you say you can solve it but you can't when you are holding doubts within you. You shouldn't doubt yourself at all if you're not at fault. You should make a list of your pros and cons about yourself and then just accept them. As long as you improve your flaws as well as keeping your good points, you can prove that you are YOU. You should embrace and love you for you can't love anyone else when you can't love yourself.
You're teen and at this phase you have to think what YOU want and who YOU are. Its normal and others shouldn't be the judge of that when they're teens themselves. So far my "who am I" mental essay have gone this far:
"Hi my name is Tatiana and I'm 14. I'm a semi-crazy,semi-random. I suddenly burst out in a weird fit of laughter when I think of something funny and my friends freak out at that momentarily. I am a indecisive and messed up liar.I have a confidence which I am always constantly building up. My existence is known by people whom I'm not even close to and I'm proud at that because I love to mark my very presence on this earth by just being me. I am insecure and when you push me in a way I REALLY don't like, I am not afraid to slash out and act like a bitch. I can be cheeky but that rare seeing I'm barely feeling mischievous. I have old fashion yet semi-modern (?) parents with two awesome smartass bros. I'm very good at killing mosquitos yet I love LOVE vampires. I like to mess with people, especially does that can't handle me. I LOVE GOD and I have a mouth that slips in bad things at times. I love that I can do what I love to do and I'm VERY blunt and straight-forward at certain specific moments. I want to study in the UK and be an author as well as a journalist. I want to travel and learn more to embrace who I am and to embrace this Earth crazy culture. I kinda hate being evil at times but I've just can't help it and is working on that. I am open-minded and I can forgive and forget MOST things. I will only ever deny an evil act that happen based on evil purposes. I embrace the bi,the homos and such because I've believe that each human deserves to be understood no matter how many times you see the obvious and because I am human myself and I want people to understand me. I don't care if they still are bad to me because at least I'm not the bad guy in it. I never talk behind my hater's back because I know deep down that they just bully me just for they're own reasons seeing as they seem to "claim" to KNOW me. I will scream shut up! if I'm irritated and I hate people that does not try to understand me but I've don't really hate long. I mean I don't like being a hater."
This is what I learn of myself so far. So what about you guys? How far do you know yourself? and if you're true to it, why should some rumors stop you from being who you are?
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